Let’s talk about sex.
There are tools and then there are power tools. A power tool, unlike a hand tool, can do a lot of good or a lot of bad in a short amount of time. Take a chainsaw, it can cut a tree in a matter of seconds, but bring it into the kitchen and it’s nothing but a mess.
Casual sex is like a chainsaw in the kitchen. Sex is a power tool that in a matter of moments can do lots of good or a lot of bad.
As humans, we were designed by God, just like a chainsaw was designed by its creator, for certain purposes. To use our bodies, brains and other components in ways other than our Creator intended causes all kinds of damage (to ourselves and others). A chainsaw used poorly can cut off a limb, crush a house or worse. A chainsaw used properly can build and warm a house.
Sex as God intended is designed to build and warm a house. It’s why sex is for one man and one woman in a covenant relationship. That’s the real version of safe sex. Casual sex is an oxymoron. Just like the idea that safe sex only requires a condom.
Sex is so much more than a physical appetite. Here’s what sex is for:
Sex is a spiritual activity.
Just as parenting helps parents understand the heart of God and His love for us, sex helps us understand the vulnerability, self-donation, faithfulness, safety, fruitfulness, complementary, connection, pleasure, and beauty of oneness with God. Sex outside marriage destroys this spiritual reality because casual sex is self-serving and void of commitment and many other dynamics that sex entails.
To be a Christian and engage in sexual immorality is not only idolatry (self and sexuality over God), but cuts at our ability to enjoy the pleasure, beauty and fruitfulness of oneness with God.
Sex is life changing.
Sex is just as much a soul act as a physical one. The unique design of sex engages every layer of our being from the outside-in and inside-out. It is a soul-bearing, soul-expressing, whole being activity designed to change our spouse and change us. It is literally a life-changing, life-creating activity. It’s why a relationship dynamics change after sex.
Like a power tool, it has the power to change your life for good or bad – and quickly. To put sex on the same level as sharing a meal, is foolish.
Porn, romanticism, adultery, homosexuality, etc., are all sabotaging activities. Sexual immorality erodes our brain, heart and body’s capacity for oneness with God and another human. It’s crazy that one component of our life (our sexuality) carries the capacity to destroy what it means to be human (to experience the life and joy of oneness with God). Sex can build or break you as a person.
Sex brings life.
To think that nine months later an image-bearing child of God is born tells us a whole bunch about the sanctity of marriage and sex. Again, it’s a way to understand the way that oneness with God results in life. It’s also another way to show just how much God has entrusted to us as image-bearers/makers. And then, in God’s genius, it’s also the way in which a child is raised (in the context and greenhouse of a mom and dad who honor God and one another). To bring a child into the world without this kind of humility, love, truth and commitment is less than ideal (to put it softly).
In addition to procreation, sex also brings relational life to a marriage. It’s an expression of love and builds love.
Sex reveals our love for God.
If you’re a Christian, then you are already married. One of the metaphors for our relationship with God is that of a bride and groom. When we are born again (we given a new name – see Rev. 2:17), we are made one with God in spirit. He will return one day to consummate the marriage (so-to-speak) where we will experience oneness with God on a level that not even sex can touch. (Did you know there’s no sex in Heaven because oneness with God is so much better?!)
The greatest motivation for the Christian to be sexually pure is our love for God. Out of love for Him, we remain faithful to Him. If we’re single, then abstinence is the way as we wait for God or seek a spouse. If we’re married, then faithfulness to our spouse is the way to be faithful to God.
I’ve written this post as a boiled down summary of my last two messages from 1 Corinthians 6:-12-20. The Bible has a whole lot more to say about sex, but perhaps this will get us thinking (and acting) more wisely about what we do with our soul and our body – the two cannot be disconnected.